So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize