Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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