So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
