I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You smell like a Billy Joel song
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
