You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
