this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
