I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
its not stalking. its research.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If I die, sorry about rent.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
