Little spoons don't ask big questions
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
