Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
