I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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