Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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