some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
