im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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