everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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