she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
