I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we made out on top of his cat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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