my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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