Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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