So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
