i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
