Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
