margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
