Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
