just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
