oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
