Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
