we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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