THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
