I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
