I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize