big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
