my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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