Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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