Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize