Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
