Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
