is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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