Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
