Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize