her vagine was all disorganized.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
