and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
