I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
