tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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