I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
