we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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