Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
