why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
