if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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