Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you had me at cake vodka
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
