I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
