Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize