I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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