I CAN MOONWALK!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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