All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
