when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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