I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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