Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
