did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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