how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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