I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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