Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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