It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
