Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Non-Jews are for practice
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just high enough for therapy.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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