can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
