Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
