I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
