What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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