i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
