my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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