waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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