I am in a vortex of obligation.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
