Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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