i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
