...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
