You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
