I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
