I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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